The words I am typing with genuine emotions are very close to my heart. They may feel uncomfortable while reading them. I gathered all my courage to express something that I feel needs more attention. Sometimes the Unspoken, the Uncomfortable, the Unseen is the most painful.
The more something is hidden, the more obscure it feels and honestly I am feeling a bit raw while writing these words.
For many years now I wonder about the role of society related to dealing with sexual abuse. I want to give those thoughts a form and a voice.
Sexual abuse happens in so many different ways, it may be subtle or overt, it can be hidden, secret, manipulated with no witnesses involved or obvious evidence. Victims can be of any age or gender and it can happen in any setting. Victims evolve into survivors, trying to navigate life with pain, shame, and mistrust. In my eyes, they metamorphose into warriors. The events might be locked up in the brain and the body, with no access to a tangible memory, but yet the event changed their physiology and life. The path of healing is often not reachable also because the surroundings are not setting the right conditions for it. It doesn't feel safe to open up and to express suffocated screams.
I found society to be focused on the aggressors. Their rights and the benefit of doubt seem to be the center of attention and conversation. And my question is: Why is it so hard to recognize the agony of the survivors and to pay attention to what they went through?
I truly believe that there is a collective responsibility to be available to see the pain, to listen to unheard stories. Stories can be told in many ways, and require sensibility and attention. They may be told by the voice, the body, the behavior or the symptoms of an unhealthy life. Dealing with sexual abuse will change when society leaves judgment towards survivors behind and feels brave enough to listen to their stories, to hold space for their pain. It will change once it will be recognized that the survivor is the witness. The caused pain is the evidence. Once that attitude will conclusive change, a different tone would be set that unheard screams could turn into words of truth and liberation.
On a bigger picture, I notice also that already a new wind is bringing change to the scene, bigger movements like the #METOO movement and conversations are taking place. Events on a bigger scale are coming to the light and become visible. However I want to shout out that more courage is needed to see the pain, personal engagement is required, and more voices need to be heard, more responsibility needs to be taken on to listen without judgment.
The renegotiation of sexual abuse trauma takes dedication, support, and time. I am happy to witness over the years how Amazonian Master Plants and Somatic Experiencing, as many other modalities are contributing to the healing path. Suffering doesn't have to be a life sentence and I hope that "Healing" will earn more and more social recognition and value.
Between the letters "Healing" the words Bravery and Value are shining through. I advocate the path of becoming whole, of becoming healthy spiritually, mentally, emotionally and fiscally. Not resolved trauma can cause more trauma. Society and the public can create a better container of acknowledging and understanding the pain that sexual abuse trauma causes and would consequently endure a foundation for possible healing. In conclusion, this would lead to more opportunities that the trauma cycle could be interrupted.
See the pain, acknowledge the pain and support to heal the pain.
Every single person who is open and available to listen to an unheard, unpronounceable, unseen, incomprehensible story can make a difference. We should not underestimate the power of holding the pain with someone.
It is a gesture of love.
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